desculpe

The birds were doing their thing again in our backyard. The familiar chirps that surreptitiously stir us back into reality. I turn around and find that familiar scent. I reach out to touch his hair and then stroke his back. I hear a murmur and then I see the face I have come to love so much. We don't speak much in the mornings. We stare and gaze beyond a lot. And we embrace longingly for each other knowing the next will or won't come again. I lean back smiling while rubbing sleep off my eyes, stretching lazily as I multitask.

And then I wake up..

I want this moment to last forever. I want to hold on to this and not feel lonely ever. And I also know it is not to be.

People harden up after being broken a few too many times. Ironically, I suppose that's how the crab of my zodiac survives bearing a tough shell to shield its soft insides.

Weightless gravity

Every now and then, I pendulum in a syncopated state of completeness, and then into an absolute distance.

We know that the second we are brought into this world, that's the very second we are alone. As alone as we seem to be, most of us go through life being with family and friends. Some luckier ones start a family or two, to share this temporary moment in this transitory state. I guess that's how some avert the notion of loneliness. As said, we come into this world alone, we shall leave this world alone too.

However viewed, it's true about what we have in between life and death that fills the void of loneliness; not and never how much we have.

We are all searching for some higher meaning in our own ways. I know that I still am, and the thirst hasn't been stronger. I have done things and gone about the unconventional way as many others might have too by doing all the wrong things to find out what the right one could possibly be. And now that I realize what I really do want, it is enlightening yet petrifying at the same time. But I know, I will still be it regardless, and heed the path that my heart yearns.

I guess that is one momentum.

The other swings me beyond. There is and will always be that slight emptiness that each journey would be so much more meaningful shared. Shared with ones you truly love.

I guess we can only keep going and hopefully stumble upon it one day.

Carpe Diem

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying

Robert Herricks "To the virgins, make much of time"

I've been revisiting the past recently to return to the present. The stanza was from Dead Poet's Society. I have been reminded to; seize the day; Carpe Diem.

Another chapter unfolds throughout this journey. My trip to Europe allowed the next chapter to manifest before my eyes. There is so much to do, so much to try and be for each moment that I shudder thinking of what I haven't allowed myself to absorb. It's a different kinda newfound feeling. A revelation I suppose.

Strength. Courage. Wisdom.