sentient

And love all, for people will always be strange and beautiful

2011-10-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

Self

~ and all

Family

~ and all

Friends

~ and all

Lovers

That's how love should be shared with first.

It was from the bottom up for a very long time, and really if there was any left, I had no intention of sharing that bit with my self.

Well, it had to be all of that for this and this is the journey.

It is quite a nice little circle to sorta come back to after the skip, hop, trampling, running, cartwheeling, then running again, and then running like mad, running blindfolded and

occasionally tip-toeing to then go full-on charging to result in empty speed spins and finally swerving back.

Now. It will be a walk at my own pace for I now realize that I've never really been in the circle, alone.

Thanks papa.

Cambodia

2011-08-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes... it's really not about where you are or what you are going to see and do. It's about who you are with that matters most and it was a memorable trip (as it always is) for the great company I had.

Thank you mummy, for being my mummy.

muah mummy...

2011-06-05T03:02:00.001-07:00

Let go,

but do not forget.

Remember and recall (as much as we can...)

and

forgive.

your heart smiles when

2011-03-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

you can't remember but you recalled,

the skies still have clouds.. and hasn't fallen,

saying hello to friends, but really saying I love you's,

you see and dance along with leaves dancing in swirls,

a stranger smiles back at you,

you realize that just being,

just being here is enough.

when you get so lost in yourself

2011-03-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

Dear...,

Please give me,

the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things that I can,

the wisdom to know the difference.

*Will keep this close to my self Christophe. Thanks.

hehe

2011-03-03T18:07:00.001-08:00

Hrm.

Syndrome. I can join his plot to take over.. or destroy the world.

Collected on 03 March 2011

2011-03-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

That's the stamp I still have on my left hand. Waiting for my copies at the Materials Collection Room and saw the rubber stamp. Couldn't help it, was very tempted to go and stamp people and hope they smile. I smiled.

2011. And it's already March. 2010 went by pretty quickly. Only 2 entries.., actually 1 of written stuff. Not much that I pen out nowadays, the rainbow tears book hasn't seen much of my entries either. 2010 was a good year I guess. Channeled it better this time round, finally learning how to do it.

Let's hope we can manage this year like the last without unraveling.

Italia

2010-08-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

kiss of life

2010-03-15T01:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a year since I keyed in any entries. March 2009.

March 2010.
Lots of things have happened and lots did not. It's another chapter that unfolds and the journey continues. It has taught me quite a lot and out of the blue, more so often than once in a blue moon, I catch myself reflecting on these moments of dried up tears, unreasonable anger, smelling death and smiling thinking that you've just smelt death, losing things and gaining self, new and renewed friendships and laughter.

Colombo train ride. Mouth watering curries and face-sized desserts; with or without the chili paste.

Gitana. Capinano. Shark frenzy.

Balestier

Tools for all purpose.

Benzina gratis dinghy.

Sailboats..

Crowded House: Weather with you

2009-03-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

Yes... it's Crowded House not Duncan Sheik.

Reminisce of a cafe in Madrid and being in Barcelona in Autumn.

What and where next?

mmh...

the girl in sakkarine

2009-02-12T04:39:00.000-08:00

she sells friendship bands to strangers. she is probably only about 8 years old and she is so incredibly beautiful. she does not know yet of the power that she has, blessed with that flawless face. she stares beyond each face that buys a memoir or souvenier or some sort each night.

she is thinking about the man riding backwards on his bicycle, in the clouds. she knows he is waiting for her to join him but she can't, she can't just yet. she had only seen him once but she will never forget him.

Lao PDR

2009-02-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

Sabaidee

In Vientiane, I wasn't so keen on checking this place out but I followed a new friend and checked it out anyway. One word. Never say never. Hah. It might just be a new interest or a past time and it was really quite fun! Precision and menace all in one, and at your single touch.

They had all sorts of guns there, too many names with numbers to recall but I could at least say I held an AK47 and a Smith & Wesson 38mm? No license required. I'm not even sure if there is an age limit. As long as the price is right baby, you've got the license to shoot.

Just 3 bullets. Managed to get one in the middle, the other in ring 5 and the other completely out of target. Not bad for first time. Thinking about it, I guess I might toy with it if happens to be there, and I guess that's just it about it. Shooting...as said, it's really quite fun. That was the highlight for Laos. Quite unexpected but it was. Khap chai.

Ben Sollee

2009-02-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Operation Cast Lead

2009-01-05T01:06:00.000-08:00

2009

2009-01-02T04:35:00.000-08:00

It's another new old year. I don't know how happy it is going to be considering the senseless politically induced war, the damned economic predicament, the unpredictable human-caused and natural catastropes and the never-endingness of it all.

So, a happy new year? Events around us will go on in its course and so must living. I say let it become a joyous one to rejoice and satisfy one's desire.

Wars and differences will rage on with the inhumanely harsh exchanges of money and power. Human nature and mother nature inevitably bond us and rip us apart.

Whatever it is, I guess my little philosophy is try not to get too entangled in it. Smile and always be true to yourself no matter what the circumstances are.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008 was a year to whiter smile back at..

- 9 countries in a year (6 ventured almost alone)
- 4.5 and above evaluations
- advance diver license
- from a house to a home
- 1-year extended contract to more possibilities

and of course, extremely intoxicated days and nights..

and more to come...

the other continent

2009-01-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

Champagne. Caviar. Foie Gras. Coke.
That's how I'll remember Paris.

The first impression, the first night will always

remain the most endearing.

~merci beaucoup

Beautiful Barcelona...

Antonio Gaudi is a genius way before his time.

Absinthe contains 79% of alcohol...

Salud!

eu gosto = i like

and i do like Portugal so much that this is the other

destination I dream to live part of my life.

Cascais

Rua in Lisboa. Merde.

The great Portuguese sailors. Malacca 1509.

Vasco Da Gama. Alfonso De Alberquerque.

obrigada..

desculpe

2008-12-30T02:11:00.000-08:00

The birds were doing their thing again in our backyard. The familiar chirps that surreptitiously stir us back into reality. I turn around and find that familiar scent. I reach out to touch his hair and then stroke his back. I hear a murmur and then I see the face I have come to love so much. We don't speak much in the mornings. We stare and gaze beyond a lot. And we embrace longingly for each other knowing the next will or won't come again. I lean back smiling while rubbing sleep off my eyes, stretching lazily as I multitask.

And then I wake up..

I want this moment to last forever. I want to hold on to this and not feel lonely ever. And I also know it is not to be.

People harden up after being broken a few too many times. Ironically, I suppose that's how the crab of my zodiac survives bearing a tough shell to shield its soft insides.

Weightless gravity

2008-12-19T03:18:00.001-08:00

Every now and then, I pendulum in a syncopated state of completeness, and then into an absolute distance.

We know that the second we are brought into this world, that's the very second we are alone. As alone as we seem to be, most of us go through life being with family and friends. Some luckier ones start a family or two, to share this temporary moment in this transitory state. I guess that's how some avert the notion of loneliness. As said, we come into this world alone, we shall leave this world alone too.

However viewed, it's true about what we have in between life and death that fills the void of loneliness; not and never how much we have.

We are all searching for some higher meaning in our own ways. I know that I still am, and the thirst hasn't been stronger. I have done things and gone about the unconventional way as many others might have too by doing all the wrong things to find out what the right one could possibly be. And now that I realize what I really do want, it is enlightening yet petrifying at the same time. But I know, I will still be it regardless, and heed the path that my heart yearns.

I guess that is one momentum.

The other swings me beyond. There is and will always be that slight emptiness that each journey would be so much more meaningful shared. Shared with ones you truly love.

I guess we can only keep going and hopefully stumble upon it one day.

Carpe Diem

2008-12-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying

Robert Herricks "To the virgins, make much of time"

I've been revisiting the past recently to return to the present. The stanza was from Dead Poet's Society. I have been reminded to; seize the day; Carpe Diem.

Another chapter unfolds throughout this journey. My trip to Europe allowed the next chapter to manifest before my eyes. There is so much to do, so much to try and be for each moment that I shudder thinking of what I haven't allowed myself to absorb. It's a different kinda newfound feeling. A revelation I suppose.

Strength. Courage. Wisdom.

Philippines 2008

2008-10-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Sumanging Caves, Sagada

Banaue Rice Terraces

El Nido

While walking the streets of Puerto Princesa, Palawan

"Lucky"

The staple diet

the owner prefers going about barefoot

Manila street signs

The jeepney. Crazy and kolorful wheels

A friend...

Welcome to Puerto Princesa.

The secret lagoon

Bangkok - The City of Angels

2008-10-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

We learn something new every day, and it never ceases to amaze.

The complete original name of Bangkok is actually:

Krung - thep - maha - nakorn - boworn - ratana - kosin - mahintar - ayudhya - amaha - dilok - pop - nopa - ratana - rajthani - burirom - udom - rajniwes - mahasat - arn - amorn - pimarn - avatar - satit - sakattiya - visanukam.

The longest place name in the world!

But Thai people call the city as Krung Thep which means 'The City Of Angels'. This capital city got it's present location when King Buddha Yodfa Chulalok (Rama I) moved it across the Chao Praya river.

Europe 2008

2008-10-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

My flight is booked. I guess I'm really going to check out the other side; you know to see if the grass is greener or more special or more potent.

*grin*

It's a little bit of a pity since both my close friends are back home in Asia, and travelling about. Well well, at least it's better late than never. I have been looking forward to this trip ever since I could remember. And I'm doing it, all on my own, sure puts a smile on my face that it isn't freakin impossible if you really want it. If you really want it hard enough.

...and my bags are packed, I'm ready to go....

x

2008-09-22T02:48:00.001-07:00

san miguel - the faithful companion

1 Sagada
Coffins stacked up in caves. According to our guide, the locals still
practice this custom but its mostly with the elders.

2 Batad Rice Terraces

1 Skull of a kalabaw

2 absorbing . . .

This is my favorite shot when I was in Philippines.
The little boy in focus was looking at my lense giving
the look of death. The ultimate staring competition...

I held patiently until he finally caved in and gave me a hell
of a wicked laugh.

1 Wooden carving of the tribes people

2 Where we stayed.
Where we drank.
Where we laughed and laughed...
Where we stayed.

The little lady of Batad

Carving on a walking stick

uno

2008-09-16T01:43:00.001-07:00

I was over in Tioman again for the weekend with a few of my close friends. We had a good time, when we actually do see each other, and I think we did have a good time.

People are strange creatures. Absolutely unpredictable yet absolutely beautiful. We cannot justify when we are confronted with the choices that we make but we know deep inside it feels right. Whatever that feels right can't be that wrong, right? Like that song, sung by Sheryl Crow, "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad". I guess just try not the hell to feel so sad about it, whatever that makes you happy.

We may go through a lot in lives, whatever defined by that but it's how we choose to face it. There's so much more to look forward to than dwell in our sorrows. Everyone is full of sorrow and happiness, it's a matter of tipping either one.

happiness is inside you

2008-09-09T02:15:00.000-07:00

A friend told me recently, "we are all capable of making ourselves happy, but it's somewhat different when someone else does it for us". That line stirred in me for a long time. Sometimes it takes someone or something to trigger our senses, or our complacencies.

With that said, i look forward to each day i have. I welcome and savour every bit of it. I don't, and won't look back and regret what could have or I could have. Once we lose that moment, it's gone forever. So, cherish what and who you have now and make the very best of it.

People, unlike objects are fragile things, and once broken too many times you can't mend it anymore no matter how hard you try.

"How old are you? What is your age? How many eggs do you have...?"

2008-09-04T01:45:00.000-07:00

I leave home with a smile and i leave work with an even bigger smile. I look forward to each day as to what I can do for my class and also at what they can give me back in return. As a teacher, I do not feel we should be completely authoritative towards them and have a complete teacher-student relationship albeit it is necessary to a certain extent. I know I am their teacher, and i also know I'm their friend. Knowing that they absorb something small and new, significant or not, makes it all worth it at the end of the day.

It's a neverending path to acquiring knowledge. It should be the case for all, student and teacher. We never stop learning, and you will be amazed at what you can absorb if you allow yourself to.

I learn more and more each day as I teach.

....... and NO, I DO NOT have 2 eggs :)

mabuhay

2008-09-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

Philippines has charmed me so much that i catch myself thinking of returning so very often.

From the day I arrived and left with a heavy heart, i marvel at her beauty. It's a country that has so much potential. The cool highlands of Baguio with their artistic and musical folks. Music runs deep in their vein and art is their distraction. The great mountains of Sagada with its dark and hanging secrets welcome you like an old friend. Children instantly strike a pose once you lift the Canon, they're pros at it. The spectacular Rice Terraces takes your breath away. You catch your breath when you think of the way of life that was and what was preserved through it. It gives you back your energy in its tranquility.

And the majestic spread of islands in El Nido beckon you to return. Clusters of unspoilt beauty.

You see what you choose to see and I saw and felt so much energy in this place. For everything she lacks, she charms. That's all there is really. I guess it's to see what others don't see and to be comfortable with all around you despite all. I love Philippines for all her inefficiencies and her glory.

mabuhay ...

what is love?

2008-09-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

love is fate
love is loyalty
love is sharing
love is to believe, and be believed in

love is not in just what we say, it's in what we do

love grows, and love dies, love grows..

love broke my heart..and love heals my soul

"each day is a journey, and the journey home"

2008-08-19T01:21:00.000-07:00

Leaving is always a return for me. Each time i take myself out of my comfort zone, out of what i know and what is to be, i become a little bit more aware of being each time. Sometimes we take so much for granted; like the bus showing up on time, water, electricity and food at our disposal, and the really really little things in life. It's hardly the case for a lot of others who share air with us.

You can't help it but also realise the way people care for each other when you travel, and you can't help it but analyse your own. Perhaps that's the way some people are. But perhaps they are also the way they are as you also let them be. The tiny revelations that come each time you go are endless.

I'll keep leaving until i come back to myself one fine day...